Reverse Psychology: How to Get What You Want by Doing the Opposite - Psychologily (2025)

Reverse psychology is a persuasion tactic that has been used for decades to influence individuals to do what you want them to do but in a subtle way. It involves advocating for a behavior different from the desired outcome, which triggers reactance in the individual. Reactance is an adverse reaction to someone trying to persuade you, and it can be a powerful tool in getting people to do what you want.

Reverse psychology can be used in various settings, including marketing, therapy, and relationships. It is often used in parenting to get children to comply with rules, but it can also be used in a workplace setting to influence coworkers or employees to take specific actions. However, it is essential to note that reverse psychology can be helpful and harmful, depending on the situation and the intent.

In this article, we will explore the history of reverse psychology, its various applications, and its benefits and drawbacks. We will also provide examples of how to use reverse psychology effectively and recognize when it is being used on you. By the end of this article, you will better understand how reverse psychology works and how it can be used to achieve your desired outcomes.

Reverse Psychology: How to Get What You Want by Doing the Opposite - Psychologily (1)

Contents

Understanding Reverse Psychology

Reverse psychology is a technique that involves asking someone to do the opposite of what they want to do, with the expectation that they will do what you want them to do. It is a form of manipulation that can influence behavior in various situations. In this section, we will explore the definition and origins of reverse psychology.

Definition

The official definition of reverse psychology, according to the Cambridge English Dictionary, is “a method of trying to make someone do what you want by asking them to do the opposite and expecting them to disagree with you.” It involves using a reverse psychology statement or request to obtain a desired outcome.

For example, a parent might ask their child to clean their room by saying, “I bet you can’t clean your room by the end of the day.” The child may feel challenged to prove the parent wrong and clean their room.

Reverse psychology can be used in various situations, from parenting to sales. However, using it ethically and with care is essential, as it can be perceived as manipulative.

Origins

The origins of reverse psychology are not well-documented, but it is believed to have been a psychological tactic for centuries. One of the earliest documented uses of reverse psychology was by the Greek philosopher Socrates, who used it to challenge his students’ beliefs and encourage critical thinking.

In modern times, reverse psychology has been used in various fields, including advertising, politics, and psychology. It gained popularity in the 1960s and 1970s, particularly in child psychology, to encourage children to do things they might not want to do, such as eat vegetables or go to bed on time.

Applications of Reverse Psychology

Reverse psychology is a powerful persuasion technique that can be applied in different areas of life. In this section, we will explore some of the most common applications of reverse psychology.

In Parenting

Parents often use reverse psychology to motivate their children to do things they might not want. For example, if a child refuses to eat vegetables, a parent might say, “I bet you can’t finish all your vegetables.” This statement challenges the child’s ability and encourages them to prove the parent wrong by eating all their vegetables.

Another example of reverse psychology in parenting is when a parent tells a child not to do something, knowing that the child will do it anyway. For instance, if a child jumps on the bed, a parent might say, “Don’t jump on the bed,” knowing that the child will continue jumping.

In Negotiations

Reverse psychology can also be used in negotiations to achieve a desired outcome. For instance, if you negotiate a salary increase with your employer, you might say, “I understand if you can’t offer me the salary increase I’m asking for.” This statement conveys that you are willing to compromise but also implies that you have other options and are prepared to walk away if necessary.

Another example of reverse psychology in negotiations is when a seller tells a buyer that a product is not for sale. This statement can create a sense of scarcity and urgency, making the buyer more interested in the development and willing to pay a higher price.

In Marketing

Reverse psychology is a common marketing technique used to influence consumer behavior. For instance, a company might advertise a product as “not for everyone” to create a sense of exclusivity and appeal to a specific target audience.

Another example of reverse psychology in marketing is when a company tells customers not to buy a product. This statement can create a sense of curiosity and intrigue, making customers more interested in the development and willing to try it.

Psychological Theories Related to Reverse Psychology

Reverse psychology is a technique that has been used by psychologists and individuals alike to influence behavior. Several psychological theories help explain why reverse psychology can be effective.

Reactance Theory

Reactance theory suggests that people have a natural tendency to resist being told what to do. When someone tries to persuade us to do something, we may feel like our freedom is being threatened, leading to reactance. Reactance is wanting to do the opposite of what someone tells us.

Reverse psychology can be practical because it allows the person being influenced to feel like they are making their own decision. For example, if a parent wants their child to clean their room, they may say, “Don’t clean your room; it’s fine the way it is.” This may make the child feel like they are in control of the decision and may be more likely to clean their room.

Social Influence Theory

Social influence theory suggests that the people around them influence people. We may conform to the behaviors and beliefs of those around us to fit in or be accepted.

Reverse psychology can be practical because it can create a sense of social pressure. For example, if a group of friends wants to go to a particular restaurant, but one person doesn’t want to go, they may use reverse psychology and say, “Fine, we’ll just go to the restaurant you want to go to.” This may make the person feel like they are going against the group and may be more likely to agree to go to the original restaurant.

Benefits and Risks of Using Reverse Psychology

When using reverse psychology, there are potential benefits and possible risks. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Potential Benefits

  • Encourages independent thinking:By suggesting the opposite of what we want, we can inspire someone to think for themselves and come to their conclusions. This can be especially useful when dealing with stubborn or resistant individuals.
  • Promotes creativity:Reverse psychology can be a great way to get people to think outside the box and develop creative solutions. By uniquely presenting a problem, we can encourage others to think differently and explore new possibilities.
  • Can be effective in certain situations:Reverse psychology can be a powerful tool when used correctly. For example, it can be effective in getting children to do things they might not otherwise want to do, such as eating vegetables or doing homework.

Possible Risks

  • May backfire:If we misuse reverse psychology, it can easily backfire. For example, if we suggest the opposite of what we want too often, people may begin to see through our tactics and become resistant to them.
  • Can be manipulative:Using reverse psychology to get what we want can be seen as manipulative, especially if we are not honest about our intentions. This can damage relationships and erode trust over time.
  • It may not work for everyone:While reverse psychology can be practical in certain situations, it may only work for some. Some people may see through the tactic or not respond to it as we expect.

Case Studies of Reverse Psychology

Historical Instances

Throughout history, reverse psychology has been used in various ways. One of the most famous examples is from the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates. He used reverse psychology to teach his students by pretending to be ignorant and asking them simple questions. This made them think critically and come up with their answers.

Another example is from World War II. The British government used reverse psychology to discourage German pilots from bombing a particular area. They spread rumors that the area was heavily fortified with anti-aircraft guns and would be almost impossible to penetrate. This caused the German pilots to avoid the area, even though it was not fortified.

Modern Examples

Reverse psychology is still used in various advertising and marketing forms. For example, a toothpaste company may advertise their product as being “too strong” for some people, knowing that this will make others want to try it to prove their toughness. Similarly, a clothing company may advertise a product as “not for everyone,” knowing this will make some people want it even more.

Reverse psychology is also commonly used in parenting. For instance, a parent may tell their child that they shouldn’t eat their vegetables, knowing that this will make the child want to eat them more. Another example is when a parent tells their child that they can’t watch a particular TV show, knowing that this will make the child want to watch it even more.

Frequently Asked Questions

How to use reverse psychology on a man?

When using reverse psychology on a man, it’s important to understand what motivates him. Men are often motivated by a desire to be in control and to feel respected. To use reverse psychology on a man, try suggesting the opposite of what you want him to do. For example, if you want him to take out the trash, suggest that he doesn’t need to worry about it and that you’ll take care of it yourself. This may make him feel like he’s not in control and motivate him to take action.

Reverse Psychology book recommendations?

If you’re interested in learning more about reverse psychology, there are several books that can provide valuable insights. One popular book is “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert Cialdini. This book explores the principles of persuasion and how they can be used to influence behavior. Another book to consider is “Reverse Psychology: The Dirty Little Secret of Manipulation” by James D. Williams. This book provides practical tips for using reverse psychology in everyday life.

How to use reverse psychology on yourself?

Using reverse psychology on yourself can be a powerful tool for achieving your goals. To do this, try telling yourself that you can’t accomplish something or that it’s too difficult. This may motivate you to prove yourself wrong and work harder to achieve your goals. Another approach is to visualize yourself succeeding and then imagine the opposite happening. This can help you identify potential obstacles and develop strategies for overcoming them.

Is reverse psychology bad or good?

Reverse psychology can be both good and bad, depending on how it’s used. When used ethically and responsibly, it can be an effective tool for influencing behavior. However, when used to manipulate or deceive others, it can be harmful and unethical. It’s important to use reverse psychology with caution and to consider the potential consequences of your actions.

How to use reverse psychology on a girl?

When using reverse psychology on a girl, it’s important to understand what motivates her. Girls are often motivated by a desire to feel valued and appreciated. To use reverse psychology on a girl, try suggesting the opposite of what you want her to do. For example, if you want her to spend time with you, suggest that you don’t need to hang out and that you’re happy doing your own thing. This may make her feel like she’s not valued and motivate her to spend time with you.

Does reverse psychology really work?

Reverse psychology can be an effective tool for influencing behavior, but it’s not a guaranteed solution. The effectiveness of reverse psychology depends on a variety of factors, including the individual being targeted, the situation, and the specific approach used. It’s important to use reverse psychology with care and to consider the potential consequences of your actions.

Reverse Psychology: How to Get What You Want by Doing the Opposite - Psychologily (2025)

FAQs

Reverse Psychology: How to Get What You Want by Doing the Opposite - Psychologily? ›

Reverse psychology refers to getting another person to do or say something by telling them the opposite of what is desired. It's a common tactic commonly found in advertising and even parenting, and can be a great skill when used carefully and responsibly.

What is reversal into the opposite in psychology? ›

The idea behind reverse psychology is that by pushing for the opposite of what you want, the other person will choose to engage in the behavior that you desire. While it can be seen as a way of managing another person's behavior, reverse psychology can also be used as a form of manipulation.

What is the reversal technique in psychology? ›

Reverse psychology is a technique involving the assertion of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired, with the expectation that this approach will encourage the subject of the persuasion to do what is actually desired.

What is the rule of reverse psychology? ›

Reverse psychology is when your true intent differs from what you ask a person to do. This method can be helpful or harmful. If you've ever asked someone to do something that was the opposite of what you actually wanted them to do, there's a good chance you were using reverse psychology.

Is reverse psychology toxic? ›

Reverse psychology and similar techniques may be used to manipulate others but are not necessarily inherently manipulative. Reverse psychology may be manipulative if it is used in relationship conflicts or to harm someone else. In addition, not everyone may find this method useful or effective on them.

How do you tell if someone is using reverse psychology on you? ›

Or they tell you the complete opposite of what they want so that you'll think they don't care either way. For example, if someone asks where you'd like to go for dinner, and you say “I don't really care,” rather than suggesting a place of your own, then they are using reverse psychology on you.

Why am I doing the opposite of what I want? ›

Why do we do the opposite of what we want to do? It may be because we are not sure about how to proceed, or we are worried about possible negative consequences. Sometimes we think there is only one right way to do it, or we believe that we shouldn't make mistakes.

How to respond to reverse psychology? ›

Ask them to explain why they want what they say they want.

If they're using reverse psychology and arguing for something they don't actually want in the hopes you'll go the other way, it can be easy to make them falter. Ask them to explain their position, and listen for any inconsistencies.

How is reverse psychology used in love? ›

In relationships, reverse psychology can manifest in various ways. For example, if one partner wishes the other to initiate a particular action or display a specific behaviour, they might express a contrary viewpoint or act indifferent, hoping this reverse approach will prompt the desired response.

Does reverse psychology work on a narcissist? ›

Yes, reverse psychology is very likely to work on those with narcissistic personalities because these individuals like to be in control and make decisions for themselves.

What is a real life example of reverse thinking? ›

Real-World Example

As with many such projects, the team is convinced that its solution is revolutionary and will be an instant success. However, instead of asking, “How can we ensure the software's success? “, the team could reverse thinking by asking, “What would make users absolutely hate our software?

What is the reverse psychology selling technique? ›

Negative reverse selling is a “reverse psychology” selling technique that helps to direct a conversation and test your prospect's resolve. It's done by asking questions and making statements contrary to the goal of closing a sale.

Is reverse psychology lying? ›

When we use reverse psychology, we consciously choose to say something we know isn't true. If it's a tool you use consistently in your relationship, or used to attract your partner? Then the relationship is essentially founded on lies.

What is dark psychology? ›

Dark Psychology is the study of the human condition, and understanding how individuals may use their dark impulses to victimize others. While most of us are able to control our dark impulses and prevent ourselves from engaging in harmful behavior, there are some individuals who are unable to do so.

When reverse psychology works? ›

Reverse psychology is only effective if the person genuinely feels they're making the choice freely. The more they're resistant to doing something, the better it will work. At the end of the day, isn't it better to have relationships built on honesty and truth rather than manipulation and backward logic?

How do I stop reverse thinking? ›

Four Simple Steps to Reverse Negative Thinking
  1. Self-Awareness – getting good at Thought-stopping. One of the principles of Mindfulness centers on being present…. ...
  2. Assess, Don't Judge. ...
  3. Reframing – Identify and Actively Choose the Alternative Statement. ...
  4. Practise, practise, practise.

How do you solve reverse bias? ›

Under reverse bias, the n side is held at a higher voltage than the p side. If the applied voltage is V, then the total potential difference across the diode becomes Vreverse bias = v0 + V (where v0 is the barrier potential).

What to do when reverse psychology doesn't work? ›

When in doubt, rewind to the start of the conversation and tell them you're doing what you originally set out to do. They may learn that reverse psychology doesn't work on you, and give it up in the future. Let them know that you know what they're doing.

References

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